Nostradamus, eat your heart out

OK, I’m calling it right now: the epidemic of 2010 will beĀ Indian cobra flu.

How do I know this? Well, 2008 was the year of the bird flu, so we’ve got the birds down. 2009 is swine flu, so mammals are now covered. Moving logically, the new strains of flu are making their way through the classes, and getting more specific. So, 2010 leaves us with fish, reptiles, and amphibians. If we stick to land animals, reptiles are first on the list (amphibians in 2011, what?), and if we went from flying to walking, then it’s only natural we then move on to slithering - so, snakes.

To determine which species of snake will be the culprit, we have to look at location. Bird flu originated in Asia (Hong Kong to be specific); swine flu originated 8,700 miles east in Mexico. Now, about 8,700 miles east of Mexico is Pakistan. As if the country didn’t have enough problems, it’s home to the Indian cobra - deadly poisonous and most-feared of the subcontinent. And there we have it: the scourge of 2010.

Since bird flu was actually spread through birds, and then swine flu was spread through humans, it’s only natural that snake flu will be spread by Samuel L. Jackson and an airplane.

So, what’s your prediction for the next media-fueled flu panic?