saving ink

Is turning down a good job proposal in lieu of the dream of freelancing ballsy or just stupid? Either way, that’s what I’ve done several times now since I became “unemployed”. I use the quotes with a tinge of sarcasm, because in my head I hear the apprehension in the response of everyone who has ever heard me say that I don’t want a job anymore (“But is that sensible?” “In these economic times, is that really a luxury you can afford?” “Everyone has to make a living…”). And I keep saying that I should be scared about such a pivotal life decision, but somehow, try as I will, I can’t summon that supposedly-healthy fear.

Granted, I’ve only been at this for a week, technically. However, I’ve been planning this kind of life for nearly a year, and so far it looks to be working out pretty damn well. I’m certainly ecstatic about the fact that, for better or worse, I’m now far more in charge of my destiny than at any other point in my life. Now it’s up to me to not fuck it up - or, if I do, to at least learn something before trying again. So right now, I’m swimming in uncharacteristic, undiluted optimism.

Perhaps it’s because when I’m at a crossroads, I prefer the option of forgetting the paved roads and running through some pretty fields for a while.